Put a Name to What Matters: Focus on What Really Matters
Do you ever feel like you’re in over your head? Like there’s an endless to-do list of everything you should be doing? Cleaning, working out, prepping our meals, performing well at work, managing our relationships… The list is long.
The truth is this: Not everything is worth your best effort.
Some things do. Some things don’t.
The trick? Name what actually matters. And let go of the rest.
The Trap of Wanting to Do It All
We are in a world that glorifies efforts. Hustle harder. Push more. Be the best at everything.
But attempting to do it all ends up causing burnout, frustration, and, ironically, less actual success.
Think about it. Are you really going to give your best to any one thing if you are splitting your energy over a dozen different things? Probably not.
That’s why we do need to make choices. We have to choose where we direct our energy.
But you ask: Step 1 — What Really Matters?
Simple question, right? But few people bother to take the time to answer it.
Take a moment. Consider what is important to you — not society, not your parents, not your friends. You.
Here are a few prompts to inspire your thinking:
What makes you feel alive?
What are you really concerned with (not what you think you should be?)
“What if you could only do 3 things this year?
Here, the aim is not to discover the “right” answer. These questions are to help get clear on where your A+ effort should go and where to shoot for good enough.
Step 2: Allow Yourself to Be Okay at Some Stuff
We’ve been told we need to excel at everything.
Guess what? You don’t.
In fact, you shouldn’t. When you spread yourself too thin, you will be good at nothing. But if you concentrate on what actually counts? Focus on the few things you can be great at.
Examples of Why You Should Just Focus on What Matters
If you want a spotless home but don’t want to deep-clean? Clean up regularly, without having to shine everything. It only takes 10 minutes to reset every evening to keep things manageable without the pressure.
Love to cook but hate meal planning? Seek out a few no-brainer recipes. You just need a few simple, delicious meals on rotation.
If you care about fitness but hate the gym? Walk daily. Dance in your room. Play a sport. Exercise doesn’t have to involve lifting weights or running for miles if you loathe it.
Do you love reading but don’t have enough time? Listen to audiobooks while driving or during cleaning daily chores. More time is better, but don’t force lengthy reading sessions.
Step 3: Set Boundaries & Let Go Of The Guilt
After naming what matters, it’s time to protect those things. That requires setting boundaries and releasing guilt.
A few ways to do this:
Say “no” more often. Every time you say yes to something that doesn’t matter — you say no to something that does.
Let go of perfectionism. Your home doesn’t have to be magazine ready. Your sessions don’t have to be Instagrammable. Done is better than perfect.
Drop the guilt. If something is not a priority for you, that’s fine. You do not owe an explanation to someone.
Step 4: Build Your Life Around What’s Important
The first step is to name what matters. The next? Tailoring life to fit over it.
A couple of practical steps you can take:
Time-block your priorities. If it’s really important, put it on the calendar. Act as if you have an important meeting.
Eliminate distractions. If social media is taking up time that could be spent on what you really care about, set barriers.
Automate the unimportant. Grocery delivery, automatic bill pay, pre-scheduled outfits — anything that alleviates decision fatigue makes it easier to concentrate on things that matter.
Honestly: Your Priorities Will Shift
Life isn’t static. What you care about now may change in a year — or even next month.
That’s okay.
The important part is being aware. Checking in with yourself. Well, I guess the research of what wives do to help out husbands is the start of that.